First of all, why would you fake something in your life?
Everything you give, you receive.
Make until you become!
You already are everything you want to be, maybe just missing some more discipline.
Start by accepting who you are right now, you are the causes of your past actions, and everything you have dreamed when young so by now you’ve achieved a lot and like all of us nothing seems to be enough but is not about being enough, because we want to have all the knowledge available, be yourself, the universe is infinite and we’re not, so don’t try to know everything.
Focus! what is that thing you really want? meditate, ask yourself questions, make an Ikigai, write down who you are right now and how do you see yourself in the future, be kind to yourself, everything you’re going through is preparing yourself to be what you want.